Tess v. Minneapolis (2017)

July 16, 2017

There are some place you go and immediately fall in love with (i.e. Copenhagen). And then there are some places that you just don’t love right away.

I.e. Minneapolis

This has not been an easy move. This is not somewhere that I have immediately fallen in love with.

And the series of jokes that has become my life since I got here (okay fine, since I was born tbh) is not helping.

With every big move comes a thousand things you have to relearn how to do. Receiving and sending mail, parking, navigating, grocery shopping, laundry, doctor’s appointments–all very different in a city than what I’m used to.

And there are also bound to be complications. I know this and expected it. I generally don’t shy away from a challenge.

But I have reached a new level.

Laugh with me or I’m going to cry.

I spent 4 hours the other night trying to connect my cable and internet and called three different helplines only to be instructed to pull a wire out of my wall, and then again only to be told that they didn’t know why I couldn’t get internet.

I was told off-street parking would be available with my apartment, and when I arrived, it wasn’t. But my neighbors told me that I could park on the street, no problem. Fast forward four days to my car being towed leading to a $140 trip to a city impound lot and a $50 parking ticket.

There’s no A/C in my building (also unexpected) so I bought some fans and a small, window-venting A/C unit. But by all means, make sure you don’t leave it on when you plug in a hairdryer.

My power has gone out four times. That’s fine, I can go downstairs and flip the breaker even though my basement looks like a front for human trafficking. But oh wait, that didn’t work this morning. So I called my landlord only to be instructed to “find a box of fuses somewhere in the basement” and replace them myself. If I don’t get electrocuted in the next week, I’ll be shocked ( <–haha). But fine, I did that, and still no luck. So, I am currently sweating to death while the meager contents of my fridge slowly go bad.

Living in a 100-year-old building = allergy hell.

If you know me at all, you know that I would rather do just about anything than deal with a bug. Well, the other night, a CENTIPEDE basically charged at me. NOTHING needs that many legs. Unnecessary. I don’t like to question the Lord but…

I have at least one person a day tell me that I’m going to “regret my decision” or “freeze to death.”

A man ran after me on the street the other day shouting, “In 20 years, will you shoot me into another dimension?” Um, no sir, I won’t.

Showering here means either freezing to death or receiving 3rd degree burns.

Lord forbid I order something online to be delivered to my apartment because every time it ends up at a sketchy convenient store 2 blocks away, and when I walk in, the owner of the store just points to a pile of boxes behind the counter for me to sort through.

Apparently the guy who lived in my apartment before me sold drugs, so I “shouldn’t be surprised if I find some in my apartment.”


Everything feels complicated. And to be honest, it’s exhausting.

Throw in my first “big girl” job, and I feel like I could get in bed and sleep for 2000 hours without waking up.

Except for, oh wait, cap guns are apparently fun to shoot off at night.

And aside from all that, moving alone to a city where you don’t know a soul is just plain hard.
It becomes very lonely very quickly.
I have full-on conversations with my cat.

I don’t need people to tell me to go out and meet people. I very much understand that. And I appreciate where they come from, but it’s WAY easier said than done.

Besides, missing out on all the lives I love back in NC will never be replaced by new friends. And I have to adjust to that.

It’s just not freaking easy. I miss the people I love so much.

I don’t know if I’ll get to the end of January and want to stay or want to go home (because even though I live here now, it’s far from being “home” yet).

But I do know that I want to eventually look back on this time with some fondness. I want to love Minneapolis. I want to love this city.

This morning, however, I don’t have to like it. And I’m exercising that right.

In the end, I know that life could be much, MUCH worse. But today let me be a little salty, and I’ll try again tomorrow.

I’ll get there.

Peace my dudes.

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